When Stormy last left you, she was fawning over her 10 boys of summer. Mind you, Stormy hasn't packed away her bikini and sunscreen just yet, but she has begun to give her credit cards a workout as she revamps her fall and winter wardrobe. Naturally, that has meant countless trips to New York for Stormy, and endless hours in stuffy, stale, first-class cabins. Aside from the dehydrated skin that will take Stormy's aesthetician weeks to rehabilitate, Stormy is current on all the latest news. During Stormy's travels, she's been inundated with "Top 10" and "best of" lists heralding everything from fashion to music. While waiting out one particularly draining layover, Stormy thought who better to share her own favorites? Better yet, who better than Stormy to share her suggestions for future endeavors, be it music or business, for our country music favorites.
By now, you must know that Academy Award winner Nicole Kidman is rumored to be watching her "Days Go By" with country hottie Keith Urban. Well, if that's the case, Stormy says let's get this duo in the studio. In the fine tradition of Olivia Newton John ("I Love You"), Jamie O'Neal and Sherrie Austin, Nicole could set the country charts on fire if paired vocally with Keith. Stormy still strains to sing along to the Moulin Rouge soundtrack, but Keith is far and away the one to match vocal gymnastics with the former Mrs. Cruise. Stormy is thinking something along the lines of those classic, powerhouse duets of Dolly & Porter, Conway & Loretta or Tammy & George. Stormy thinks Nicole and Keith could set the country radio industry on its ear with a blazing-hot version of "Louisiana Woman, Mississippi Man" or "Golden Ring." It's a shoo-in for the CMA vocal event of the year award. Not to mention it could send sofa-hopper Tom Cruise under the couch once and for all. And raise your hand if you would miss him for one minute?
Stormy can't mention Nicole and Keith without thinking of that other famous Oscar-winning actress who left our little country music nest just as quickly as she arrived—Miss Renee Zellweger. While the soon-to-be former Mrs. Kenny Chesney is packing up her flip flops and tank tops, she might consider closing this chapter of her life with a revival of the Tammy Wynette classic D-I-V-O-R-C-E. Of course, Stormy understands that Renee has filed for an annulment, which, in the eyes of the court, will allow her to say she has never been married. Nonetheless, the pain of parting company with super-hot Kenny Chesney just might provide enough heart-wrenching emotion to match Miss Tammy's tear jerker note for note. Then again, Stormy must admit she knew this match was not made in hillbilly heaven. Why you ask? Well, Renee, never bring your man a margarita. Let him serve you cold beverages along with sparkling diamonds, boats, cars, chocolates, and shoes.
Since Stormy thinks it's very cool to mix the CMAs with the Oscars, Stormy's really banking on the advance buzz about Walk the Line, the Johnny Cash story starring Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon in theatres November 18. Stormy thinks that Nashville's own Miss Reese Witherspoon could win an Academy Award for her portrayal of the amazing Miss June Carter Cash. Following in the footsteps of Miss Sissy Spacek who won an Oscar for playing our beloved Miss Loretta Lynn in Coal Miner's Daughter, Reese could join Nicole Kidman, making sure that, on the heels of Renee's untimely departure, we still maintain an appropriate mix of Oscar glamour in the family. Then, Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban could bring the story of Dolly Parton and Porter Wagoner to the silver screen, becoming the first husband/wife duo to win Oscars for the same project. Of course, Nicole is going to need a lot of help, and Stormy doesn't mean vocally, either.
With the prime time Emmy Awards just days behind us, Stormy can't help but overlook our next big country music star turned television diva. Who has what it takes to follow in the successful footsteps of Reba McEntire, Dolly Parton, and Barbara Mandrell? Well, two artists spring to mind. The first is obvious: Miss Gretchen Wilson. No, it's not a variety hour or a sitcom; Stormy's talking a daytime lifestyles show. That's right. When Gretchen took the world by storm with her "Redneck Woman" hit, the masses responded. An entire segment of the population is thirsting for someone like Gretchen. We've heard her sing about it, but women want to know where those Victoria's Secret look-alikes are at Wal-Mart and what looks good on whom. Don't worry guys, this new show will have something for you, too: Tips to avoid getting roped in by a little "Homewrecker" or what to do "When You Think About Cheating." Plus, there are segments that aren't gender specific: bulb maintenance for those Christmas lights that stay up all year long. Yes, it's Gretchen who is poised to give Martha Stewart a run for her money. Granted, minus that ankle bracelet, Martha is probably a little quicker on her feet than she has been in the past five months. But Stormy predicts "it's a redneck thing" should Gretchen decide to share her own brand of domestic wisdom.
Speaking of Martha Stewart, one can't overlook the success of the popular Apprentice franchise. Stormy thinks it's only a matter of time before the astute producer looks to Nashville for his next variation on this popular reality television show. For this show, Stormy has the ideal candidate to crown the country music apprentice: our own Grand Ole Opry legend Porter Wagoner. That's right. Let's look at his credentials and compare them to those of current Apprentice hosts Donald Trump and Martha Stewart. Martha started her domestic empire cooking in her kitchen; Porter got his start plowing Missouri fields with a mule. The Donald discovered a moneymaking formula for real estate development; Porter discovered moneymaking superstar Dolly Parton. The Donald's Apprentice was nominated for an Emmy Award last year; big deal--Porter is a member of the Country Music Hall of Fame. Martha Stewart elevated the status of the poncho; Porter made couture designer Manuel a household name. And it's those Manuel suits that make Porter ideal for hosting the country music Apprentice. At the end of each show, when Porter must send one would-be apprentice packing, Porter simply opens his rhinestone-studded jacket to reveal the words "So long!"
Don't even get Stormy started talking about the year's "best dressed" lists. Nicole Richie, Lindsay Lohan, Beyoncé, Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen and Paris Hilton. Stormy wants to shine the spotlight on some country fashionistas who are over the age of 20, who've given birth--some more than once--and still manage to give these young starlets a run for their boho-chic money. What about three-time mommies Faith Hill, Martina McBride and Sara Evans, the latter of which could be Kate Beckinsale's long-lost twin? Lest we forget mommy of one and soon-to-be-40 yet still hotter than a two-dollar pistol Miss Shania Twain? Stormy got one look at that print ad for Stetson for Women and went right out and bought not just the new fragrance but also a cowboy hat, boots and a saddle. By the way, Paris, if you're reading--and Stormy knows you are--this collection of ladies, "That's hot!"
Speaking of hot, Stormy must turn her attention back to her wardrobe. With the Opry playing Carnegie Hall and the CMA Awards taking New York City by storm, Stormy has much to do in the way of wardrobe engineering. If you can't make it to the Big Apple, check back for Stormy's up-to-the-minute coverage of both events.