Stormy Speaks

Stormy Weather is opry.com's exclusive columnist. A veteran, though self-described "young and trendy music industry insider," Stormy takes readers along as she moves gracefully within Nashville’s elite inner circles and shares her own first-hand observations, take-no-prisoners opinions and juicy commentary on the movers and shakers inside Music City's illustrious entertainment industry. Read it from Stormy like you won't read it anywhere else.

It’s Never Easy, Letting Go: Goodbye Joshua, Hello Nashville Star Finals! 

Hello, Nashville Star fans! Did Stormy mention last week that she and Dina were headed to Mardi Gras? Did Stormy and Dina have a good time amid all the revelry? Let’s just say Dina came home with a bead collection to die for, if that tells you anything! That’s all Stormy’s going to say. Now, let’s get right to the show.

Oh, the highly anticipated hometown trips. Zac and Angela Hacker head home to Alabama to work a whole mess of Hacker Backers into a frenzy. There really is nothing quite like seeing the contestants in their element. A quick glimpse inside Ma and Pa Hacker’s living room revealed the styling 16 x 20 super cool high school graduation portraits on the living room wall. A national television crew is coming to your parents’ house. . . . hmmmm. . . . that was your first hint to maybe stash those under a bed somewhere. However, Stormy firmly believes that the Hackers cling to the past. Need we look farther than Pa Hacker’s killer fringe jacket? And Stormy means “killer” in the painful, attacking way, not as in “awesome.” As for Zac Hacker’s performance of Kenny Rogers’ classic, “Lady,” stunning, simply stunning. Perhaps judge Randy Owen summed it up best when he said, “You made me feel something really special.” Well, Randy, let’s give it a few days and see if it was special enough to make you do something to that hair. Now that would be special.

Joshua Stevens took everyone on an emotional trip back home to Iowa with a tear-filled mother/son reunion. As Stormy watched that footage, she realized the reason for Joshua’s hair challenges. When he’s not on stage, Joshua smothers his hair with a cap, apparently much of the time. It might be time to give that up. As for Joshua’s performance of Tim McGraw’s “Please Remember Me,” was that a performance or a desperate plea? Stormy’s not a bit surprised that the audience sent you packing, Joshua. Actually, Stormy is surprised that it didn’t happen sooner.

The reigning Louisiana Cajun David St. Romain, well, he didn’t fare much better than Joshua, but at least he makes it to the final show. Now, DSR, Stormy thinks your wife is just as cute as a button, really. But perhaps it’s time to find a new song consultant, really. Stormy is a huge fan (actually, Stormy’s barely a size two, but you know what she means) of Tim McGraw’s “Live Like You Were Dying.” There were moments during your performance that Stormy thought you might possibly be dying. A couple of times you sounded as if you’d been stomped by a bull named FuManChu. At least Judge Randy was there to offer that eloquent (insert lack of sincerity here) football analogy of your performance. Shoulder pads and a helmet. The only helmet advice that Stormy has for you, DSR, after that performance is that life is really hard, you should get a helmet.

The last woman standing, Miss Angela Hacker. First things first, what was she wearing? Stormy had a dress like that once; it was a real head-turner. Of course, Stormy was seven at the time, and she was playing tag on the elementary school playground. The red scarf around your waist was a nice attempt at an accessory, but it still couldn’t salvage that outfit. And last but certainly not least, what were those earrings? Don’t doctors use those to remove stubborn babies during delivery? The only thing worse was that awful coat you wore in the clips from your hometown visit. Ouch. No, actually, the stray hair extensions were worse. As for your song selection, once again Stormy loves Matraca Berg’s ode-to-young-love “Strawberry Wine.” However, Angela, it’s not really your drink of choice.

Perhaps some of Jewel’s keen fashion sense will rub off on Angela before the start of the big tour. Speaking of Jewel, this week’s dress may have been her very best thus far. What a fabulous combination of jewel-toned green against brown lace and yet another plunging neckline. Jewel and “the girls” have surely been good for ratings.

And, last but certainly not least, Blakey Shelton. Oh, be still Stormy’s heart!! All these years, who knew what was hiding underneath that cowboy hat and long hair. Call Stormy. Today. It’s your destiny, Blakey.

Stormy is absolutely stunned that the Nashville Star championship is already upon us. A winner is among us. Another star is about to be born. Like March, the Nashville Star finals will roar in like a lion and out like a lamb. Or is it the other way around? Oh, well, either way, next week should be simply out of this world. Dina and Stormy are on their way to find some fabulous new dresses for the big show. Stormy is looking for something to compliment Blakey’s eyes. Oh, if you’re filled with anticipation, there’s a reason. Until next week, I’m Stormy Weather, and I’m seeing stars . . . Nashville Stars.