Stormy Speaks

Stormy Weather is opry.com's exclusive columnist. A veteran, though self-described "young and trendy music industry insider," Stormy takes readers along as she moves gracefully within Nashville’s elite inner circles and shares her own first-hand observations, take-no-prisoners opinions and juicy commentary on the movers and shakers inside Music City's illustrious entertainment industry. Read it from Stormy like you won't read it anywhere else.

Politics, Awards, & Love--Stormy Style

Oh, Stormy lives for moments like these! Love is in the air, not to mention political aspirations, and national awards shows. So much to chat about, and so little space. Shall we get right to it?

During a recent ski trip to Aspen, Stormy overheard a fellow snow bunny discussing Mr. Tim McGraw’s desire to be governor of the great state of Tennessee. Of course, Stormy put her hot chocolate aside so she could sift through her overpriced designer handbag to find her Blackberry. Attribute it to the high altitude, but Stormy immediately feared that Tim might have suddenly decided to go the way of Clint Eastwood or Arnold Schwarzenegger. Not to worry. Stormy learned that little Gracie, Maggie, and Audrey McGraw are not moving into the Tennessee governor’s mansion any time soon.

However, that does bring Stormy to the Grammy Awards green carpet. Was Faith, in that black gown with what appeared to be an attack of unruly and unkempt blue flowers overtaking one of country’s fashion divas, testing the political fashion waters? Oh, if so, Faith was drowning in that gown. Stormy hopes this is no prelude to life as Tennessee’s first lady. Where was that cutting-edge fashion that we’re accustomed to from Faith? Apparently, on the floor of some couture designer, left behind in the wake of that floral frock. We expect so much more from country’s first couple. Also, during her Aspen getaway, Stormy found an hour to catch Tim and Faith on Oprah, but more on that in a moment.

Stormy has more political musings to declare just yet. With Tim McGraw hinting at a potential gubernatorial bid, shall we brace ourselves for Mr. Show Dog himself, Toby Keith, to make a bid for Homeland Security Chief? He’s been threatening to put that big boot of his somewhere for sometime now. What about Darryl Worley? Is there a place in Toby’s country cabinet for someone who can rhyme “Bin Laden” and “forgotten?” Only time will tell if Stormy might be dancing in political circles to bring her fans the latest news. Rest assured Bill O’Reilly is no match for the Stormy Factor!

Moving back to the left, Stormy snuggled up in a huge down comforter, once again in Aspen, for an hour-long lovefest with Tim, Faith, and Oprah. Figuratively, my dear readers, figuratively! Oprah, everybody’s best girlfriend, occasionally gets to Music City to visit her father. Well, next time she’s in our neck of the woods, I’m sure Tim will whip up a batch of his famous chicken and dumplings. We viewers got to watch as Faith and Tim visited a little country market where they ordered a couple of bologna sandwiches. Stormy couldn’t help but think of Loretta Lynn and her beloved Doo in that scene from Coal Miner’s Daughter when Loretta shares the virtues of bologna with a live radio audience. Bologna and country music have quite a history, don’t they though?

Now don’t think for a minute that Tim and Faith are living on bologna and white bread sandwiches. One of Stormy’s closest confidantes was quick to report a recent “Faith sighting” at a Nashville grocery. Why, he told Stormy of his eyewitness account of Faith, complete with baseball cap and dark glasses, pushing a shopping cart filled with no less than $700 worth of groceries. Much to Faith’s dismay, a pesky package of bathroom tissue kept falling from her shopping cart to the floor. With a little help from Stormy’s friend, the “Mississippi Girl” made it out unscathed. Wonder if a “Mississippi Girl” clips coupons? I bet a “Redneck Woman” does, but that’s another story for another time.

From Mississippi to Hollywood, Stormy is happy to report that sightings of her favorite lovebirds--Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban, are on the rise. One of Stormy’s best girlfriends tells Stormy that Nicole may have even joined a popular Music City gym. Now, it’s one thing to visit, but if you actually join a gym, that’s putting down roots as far as Stormy is concerned. China and crystal patterns and a Target gift registry can’t be far behind.

And what about those two at the Grammy Awards, one of several public appearances in recent weeks? Why, the Grammy folks are already treating them like country music royalty, seating Nicole and Keith on the front row next to Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson. Stormy, who by the way is an excellent lip reader, thought she saw Tom Hanks telling Nicole and Keith that he would like another Oscar for his collection, and if he could get a role like that for his wife while he was at it, all the better. Well, just as Keith offered an answer, wouldn’t you know Nicole turned her head and the upturned collar on her uber-sleek jacket blocked Stormy’s view. However, Stormy did some thinking. Tom and Rita might want to pursue Golden Ring: The George & Tammy Story. Or, better yet, with Rita Wilson’s hair, why not revisit a deep well: Louisiana Woman, Mississippi Man: Conway & Loretta’s Story.

While we’re speaking of such high drama, Stormy would be remiss if she didn’t address the departure of Sugarland’s Kristen Hall. Stormy could act surprised, but why? If Stormy were Kristian Bush, I would see if the ol’ family pooch Duke has any opportunities at the family’s bean factory. Now, Stormy loves Kristen and Kristian, but to quote the great George Jones, “If you didn’t get the picture, maybe you can see the writing on the wall.” Someone cleverly creates a CMT Country Crossroads pairing of Sugarland and Bon Jovi, but only Jennifer gets to stand in front with Jon. Management calls, “Hey guys, you’re going to perform with Bon Jovi on the CMA Awards!” Translation: Jennifer, get a cute outfit. Shortly thereafter, Sugarland was down to a mere Sugartown, population: two. Management calls again, “Hey guys, you get to be presenters on the Grammy Awards!” Translation: Jennifer, you and your pals, Jon and Richie, you’re getting some major face time.” Stormy’s prediction: Management calls in the not too distant future, oh, say around August, “Hey guys, you were just nominated for the CMA Female Vocalist of the Year.” Ouch.

You didn’t think Stormy would leave you without mentioning Nashville Star IV? That’s right, 10 new country star wannabes will soon settle in for what promises to be the most exciting season ever. Mark you calendars for Tuesday, March 14, on the USA Network. From the latest information sent Stormy’s way, she understands that judges Anastasia Brown and Phil Vassar will return, along with “a rotating special celebrity judge each week throughout the season.” Well, Stormy hopes that “rotating celebrity judge” doesn’t get dizzy! Meanwhile, Stormy is off to get a much-needed facial to soothe her Aspen-sun-kissed skin. Where expensive beauty products and pampering exist, so does great celebrity. You can count on Stormy to bring it to you here, because to quote the hair extension maven herself, “there’s more where that came from.”