Stormy Speaks

Stormy Weather is opry.com's exclusive columnist. A veteran, though self-described "young and trendy music industry insider," Stormy takes readers along as she moves gracefully within Nashville’s elite inner circles and shares her own first-hand observations, take-no-prisoners opinions and juicy commentary on the movers and shakers inside Music City's illustrious entertainment industry. Read it from Stormy like you won't read it anywhere else.

Hacker Backers Give it up for Angela! 

The Hacker Backers have spoken, and Angela Hacker is the Jennifer Hudson of Nashville. Well, okay, Jennifer has future movie roles to consider while Angela readies for an appearance on the world-famous Grand Ole Opry. And while Jennifer is polishing her Academy Award, Angela will be waxing her new Chevrolet pickup truck. And as Jennifer wades through a stack of endorsement deals, Angela is probably pulling into the nearest Sonic to redeem all the great coupons she won from Nashville Star’s major advertiser. Enough with the comparisons, Music City has a brand-new Nashville Star, Miss Angela Hacker.


After she plucked all the confetti from her hair, Stormy simply couldn’t believe that David St. Romain, a fixture in Stormy’s life for the past seven weeks, was gone. Stormy felt confident that the Hacker Backers would split the votes, allowing DSR to reign supreme. However, Dina predicted Angela's victory from day one; the woman knows talent when she sees it.


Stormy is certain that Pa Hacker must have worn his good luck charm, that “killer” fringe jacket, nonstop because not one, but TWO Hackers made it to the finals. While Stormy is on the topic of fashion, what about Judge Randy Owen? Randy went and saved the best for last with that outfit. And, according to Stormy’s best girlfriend Dina, Randy’s hair was less chaotic than in previous weeks. Randy’s still not the “Dixieland Delight” that he once was, according to Dina, but it’s all relative. Stormy doesn’t have to remind anyone of that brown crushed velvet jacket from earlier in the season. Close your eyes and reminisce about that fine fashion moment.


Stormy would be remiss if she did not give a shout out for Stormy’s new favorite host Jewel, who looked exquisite in that little black dress that made a really big impact. That wide belt cinched her tiny little waste to perfection. And there must have been a two-for-one special on side ponytails, since both Jewel and Angela were sporting that look (even if one of you enjoyed a little help from extensions). And what about Robot Troy, who also looked his personal best. Stormy loved that black suit. Tres chic, Troy.


Stormy could say something horribly catty about the fact that brother Zac and sister Angela, when they stood side by side, looked like a wedding cake topper. Now, Stormy is the first to admit that Angela went all out for her final appearance, donning that low-cut beaded gown with a leg-revealing slit up the front. But Zac, Little Richard called; he wants his jacket back. Somewhere out there exists one or more people from whom you should never, ever, ever seek fashion advice. Sporting a chocolate-colored, fringe-trimmed top, Stormy is convinced that Pa Hacker took Anastasia shopping. Who saw that coming? Fringe for everyone. Stormy feels pretty certain as to who Anastasia voted for, hmmmm?


Now, Stormy’s personal insight into the final performances. Angela was simply stellar with her rendition of “I Can’t Make You Love Me.” Quite honestly, since the decision was already made, Stormy felt Angela might showcase her hard-core country side and treat everyone to something a bit more traditional. But, like they say down at Krazy Karl’s Karaoke, you gotta dance with the one that brung ya. Oh, yes, they do say “brung ya” down at Krazy Karl’s.


Now, what a class act our little DSR is! DSR turned in what was by far the evening’s best performance with Pat Green’s “Wave on Wave.” With that beautiful wife and super-cute baby to go home to, DSR was certainly no loser. Stormy has a feeling we haven’t seen the last of DSR.


Now, Zac Hacker, what a sweet boy, bringing your mama to tears when you said she could quit working if you won. Stormy hopes Angela extends her the same offer; it’s only fair. Quite honestly, you brought a tear or two to Stormy’s eyes, too. Thank goodness Dina doesn’t stray very far without a tissue, with aloe, no less. Stormy was nearly a puddle after sitting through another performance of “If it Wasn’t for the Whiskey,” with Ma and Pa Hacker merely rows away. The lump in Stormy’s throat only got bigger when she saw those clips of the Hacker kids sitting on stage of the Mother Church, the Ryman Auditorium, sharing stories. Why, it reminded Stormy of the time when, oh, well, that would just be a waste of Dina’s tissues.


All tears aside, who chose the duet that Angela and Zac performed? Was there not one single song better suited for a brother/sister duo? Oh, my! They might as well have been singing “Mississippi Woman, Louisiana Man” or “I Don’t Wanna Have To Marry You.” Stormy was able to look beyond that and enjoy some of the finer moments. Like Zac’s smokin’ guitar solo, and Randy, well, just plain smokin’ that cigar. And pyro, oh, how Stormy enjoys pyro! Nothing says someone is about to win a recording contract like pyro.


And then it was over. Angela is named the winner, a big group hug, tears shed, Randy and Anastasia dance, Blake Shelton picks the confetti from Jewel’s hair, and suddenly, with that, another great season comes to an end. But what a fantastic year, and not just for Stormy. Who could forget Randy and that cheap Bic pen that he gestured with or those words of wisdom that he bestowed upon everyone. And Anastasia, the chains, the sunless tan, the hair extensions, the clothing better-suited for a 19-year-old, but who’s counting? And Blakey, sweet Blakey. Stormy is still lost in those eyes, but as sure as Stormy finds herself, you should call.


Of course, Dina and Stormy are already planning a road trip to catch Joshua, DSR, Zac and Angela on tour. If you see two impeccably dressed, size zero hotties on the front row, don’t disturb us. Meanwhile, congratulations to this season’s participants and most especially, Ma and Pa Hacker! Let’s make plans now to meet, perhaps backstage at the Grand Ole Opry when Angela makes her big debut? Sounds like a plan. Just don’t hit Dina or Stormy with that fringe. Dina and Stormy both bruise like a peach.


Make it a point to visit opry.com for Stormy’s latest reviews. Those ACM Awards are just around the corner, and, of course, Dina and Stormy are on their way. See you there!