Stormy Speaks

Stormy Weather is opry.com's exclusive columnist. A veteran, though self-described "young and trendy music industry insider," Stormy takes readers along as she moves gracefully within Nashville’s elite inner circles and shares her own first-hand observations, take-no-prisoners opinions and juicy commentary on the movers and shakers inside Music City's illustrious entertainment industry. Read it from Stormy like you won't read it anywhere else.

Stormy’s Angle on Love, Weight and Distancing Your Exes

Stormy’s head is still in the clouds following a simply smashing Valentine’s Day weekend! Cupid’s arrow hit Stormy hard, much like a 12-point buck taken out on the first day of deer season. Oh, yes, Stormy is a smitten kitten and her secret love is just that, a secret for now. Stormy would love to give you all the details, but surely you know what Thomas Dewar once said, “An honest confession is good for the soul, but bad for the reputation.” Precisely!

While Stormy was swooning seems the media was stirring up all sorts of controversy about Miss Jessica Simpson and her reported weight gain. Well, Stormy hardly has the space here to distinguish between a bad stylist, an awkward camera angle and a poor diet. One time, someone took an unfortunate photo of Stormy on the red carpet. From the photographer’s perspective, the resulting photo looked as if Stormy had given the all-you-can-eat buffet a run for its money. Now Jessica, when the waist of your jeans is tickling your underarms, it’s time to reconsider your denim decision. And just because a sausage casing comes in black with spaghetti straps, it doesn’t mean you should wear it as a top. Let’s give ‘em something to talk about but not an outfit like that. Dig deep in that closet, girlfriend! Stormy wants everyone to look their best, especially Stormy. That might be the reason Stormy once used a younger, thinner photo of herself in her profile on an online dating service. Honey, a girl’s got to do what a girl’s got to do! In the grand scheme of things, there are a few things Stormy might take Jessica to task on, but her weight is not one of them.

Stormy hasn’t had a chance to chat with you since the Grammy Awards on Feb. 8. Speaking of stunning, our little Opry fashionista Carrie Underwood never looked better, in Stormy’s humble opinion. That gold beaded gown she wore on the red carpet was precious metal. And the winners’ list is just sprinkled with Opry dust. Our own Alison Krauss could barely carry the five Grammys she claimed with Robert Plant, including album of the year. That’s a really big deal. Soon-to-be-dad-of-two Brad Paisley won two awards, and Carrie captured best female country vocal performance award for her hit "Last Name.” After 30 years of cranking out the hits, gorgeous George Strait finally won his first Grammy for best country album, Troubadour. Granted, he’s not an Opry member but we love him just the same, and Bettie Lou says we would be remiss if we didn’t acknowledge this achievement.

Zoom, zoom, zoom, Keith Urban was the featured artist for Sunday's pre-race concert at the Daytona 500. Keith gives a whole new meaning to “gentleman, start Stormy’s engine.” Well, elsewhere at that famous Florida oval, seems the rubber didn’t just meet the road on the race track. Oh, no. Keith and Nicole Kidman’s ex, Tom Cruise, were both in attendance at the big race. Stormy heard they shook hands, and that Tom was seen applauding enthusiastically for Keith. Both attended the pre-race driver meeting, but they were seated on opposite ends. Keeping your exes on strategically located on opposite sides of the room is a philosophy that Stormy supports wholeheartedly. Opposite sides of the state, the country, even the entire planet.

Shifting gears, Stormy can’t wait to watch Julianne Hough and her honey Chuck Wicks on Dancing With the Stars. Oh, there’s more news. Last year’s Nashville Star judge Jewel is going to be doing the cha-cha as will her husband, rodeo star Ty Murray. Quite honestly, Stormy wasn’t aware that real cowboys did anything other than a dancehall two-step, so this should be interesting, to say the least. From the comfort of Stormy’s living room sofa, eight seconds on a mad-as-a-wet-hen bull looks easier and certainly less aerobic than salsa dancing.

Stormy simply must go. Big date this evening with the new top-secret love bug and book club tomorrow night. Sometime in between, Stormy is getting a new driver’s license where she fully intends to downplay her weight. In a simple exercise to verify Stormy’s identity, the 16-year-old pencil-thin store clerk need not know everyone of Stormy’s secrets. The demand’s on a girl’s time are great, but Stormy will be back in two short weeks!